My Accomplishment Driven Life

I had an epiphany during church last week. I was standing with my hands in the air, passionately singing these words:

Let the glory of Your name be the passion of the church,

Let the righteousness of God be a holy flame that burns,

Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives,

Jesus, You are all to us.

{All to Us- Chris Tomlin}

There, in the middle of my worship, something hit me. Hard. See, as some of my friends know, I've been going through a tough time lately. When Robby and I moved to Lynchburg last month, we were so excited. He had a new job to start right away. I was sure I'd find a job quickly. Plus, in January, I'm going to school to begin pursuing my career goal of being a Physician Assistant. 

However, when we got to Lynchburg, the job I had lined up fell through. Nothing else came. School doesn't start for a few months. For the first time since I was a child, I had nothing to work on. No school. No work. I found myself laying around the house most days, watching tv. Every few days I'd clean the apartment top to bottom and feel great. Still, slowly, I started feeling down.

"I have nothing to do"

"I sleep late because I have no reason to get out of bed"

"I just feel worthless"

I said these things, and more, to my husband as I tried to explain why I'm not quite myself. And I struggled to realize why I suddenly felt so worthless. I'd had breaks from college where I felt bored, but never like this. Plus, because I wanted to graduate a year early, my breaks were few and far between. For the past three years I worked almost constantly to graduate early. Now, I had nothing to work on. Sure, I could clean my house and make my husband's life easier. Sure, I could find somewhere to volunteer to my time. Sure, I could hang out with friends. I tried, with tears in my eyes, to explain to my husband that doing those things to fill my time would be pathetic. I told him that I couldn't be happy with a schedule that I made only to make myself feel better. I needed something important to do.

Sunday morning, standing in church, it hit me. I felt worthless because I wasn't working towards any prestigious accomplishments. I didn't have a busy schedule to make me feel important. I didn't have any big, important goals to 'complain' about. 

I felt worthless because I have, for years, found my worth in accomplishments. I've gone from one thing to the next, barely pausing to breathe. I've also been carrying the heavy burden that comes when we try to work our way to 'self-worth'. 

I stood in church and realized I'd never, not once, truly made the glory of God's name my passion. I had never found worth in His love. I'm currently suffering because I have no work to distract me from my lack of purpose. Degrees, jobs, and other accomplishments don't provide true purpose. But, if we keep busy enough pursuing them, it feels like they do. Then, when we're forced to be still and quiet, we try to rest in our accomplishments.... and we find that they provide little comfort.

My eternal purpose has nothing to do with degrees. It has everything to do with making the glory of God's name my passion. It has everything to do with measuring my life not by the world's standards, but finding my worth and purpose in knowing the saving love of Christ. It has everything to do with making Jesus my all. 

What does it look like to make Jesus our all? To make the glory of His name our passion?

Many are the plans in a man's heart, 

but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

I'm a Liberty University student- and proud!

Well, dear readers, I've brushed off the dusty keys. I used Google to find my blog- because, shamefully, I couldn't remember the address. I got totally fired up and a facebook status just wasn't enough!

So, I was harmlessly browsing the web earlier when I saw something really disturbing. There are thousands of people petitioning Tim Tebow not to speak at a conservative university. They said the school bans gay students and is anti-gay. If I didn't know better, I'd probably sign the petition. See, that's a terrible thing. No school- especially one that claims to be Christians, should ban gay students. And no one should bully LGBT people- not ever, ever, ever. My reasons for believing that might vary some from yours. I might have a slightly different take on the situation than you do. But I would never, ever, ever be okay with bullying someone for their sexuality. I feel pretty confident in saying that 99.9% of the people at my university agree with me. But, here's the thing, my university is the one they're talking about. I had to sit and read the petition that says that my school is 'a symbol of everything that's wrong with the religious right'. Now, hold up a second, what are your sources?

Let me be clear- I'm really proud to be a student at Liberty University. If I could go back in time and decide again what school to go to, I would pick this one every time. Now I will not stand here and say that there are not any people at this school who hold extreme views that I don't agree with. I'm sure there are many types of jerks at this school. But those people do not represent the majority of this school! The majority of the people at this school are nice, respectful people. We are not 'anti-gay'. And we do not, I repeat DO NOT ban gay students!

I'm proud to go to this school for a lot of reasons. The professors here are really helpful. They genuinely care about their students. The students here are fun, friendly, and hard working. The campus is beautiful and getting more beautiful by the day. The activities are super fun (football games, open mic nights, concerts, etc). The classes are rightfully hard. There's the people considered boring, the people considered hard partiers, and a lot in between. In case you're interested, no one thinks or expects that every student here is a conservative Christian. And we're totally okay with that. There are a lot of viewpoints expressed. We're all taught to find out for ourselves what we believe- and then stick to it. I can't tell you how many times I've been told "You are not a Christian just because your parents are. You have to do your own research and make that decision for yourself if that's what you believe". Wow, that doesn't sound like brainwashing, does it?

So, why do people think that of us? Why are people telling Tim Tebow not to 'give his faith a bad name by speaking at Liberty University'? People are saying things that sound really hateful to me. And, why? Because we're Christians and we hold traditional Christian viewpoints? Is that in and of itself wrong? No. Now, there are a minority of people that claim to be Christians that say really terrible, hateful things about the LGBT community. They treat people badly because they disagree with them. That's wrong. But, today, I'm seeing a lot of conservative Christians- kind, respectful people- get treated badly. Christians are getting badmouthed by others because they disagree with us. That's wrong. 



P.S. There are a lot of rules at this school that sound crazy. Like- I'm pretty sure that there is still technically a rule that says no public dancing is allowed. I think there's also a rule that says you're not allowed to have any unnatural hair colors. And, up until last year, it was against the rules for girls to have their nose pierced. I did all of those things anyways. Maybe I'm just a rebel.... But they still love me.


Link to the petition: http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/2518/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=12691

                                      

                               It was a regular girls night... and then we dyed our hair pink!

It was a regular trip to get pizza... and then we took
a detour and I got my nose pierced!

      Football game with my man!

Creations of the King

We are creations of the King. Each and every one of us was thoughtfully created by God. He formed us, made us, loved us. And not just us, also them. 


God didn't just create you with a purpose. He didn't say 'well most of these humans aren't worth much, I just love that one'. He created every one else with a unique purpose too, and He loves them. He thinks they're beautiful. He is sad when they're sad, and happy when they're happy. He wants what's best for them. He's a loving, creative God who formed every detail of their body.

So, treat them with respect. Admire the ways our King made them. That's not 'just' a person- that's a King's beloved creation. He sees them and listens to them.

He sees you, and listens to you. He cares about all the details of your life. He's sad for you when you make poor choices, and is pleased when you make wise ones. He pays attention to you.

So, pay attention to them. Knowing that your King wants them to feel loved, do your best to make them feel loved. Set aside your selfishness and let God work through you to show them His love.

We are creations of the King. Each and every one of us was thoughtfully created by God. He formed us, made us, loved us. And not just us, also them.